It’s dry and hot out here. Endless skies over a mountainous skyline. Feels like freedom.
I kinda love it out here even if its sort of a hellscape. Its just peaceful: there isn’t a thousand stores flashing their lights at you, trying to get you to buy something. But the lack of plants, animals, and beach kinda sucks, I lived near the ocean my entire life up until now, so it’s bittersweet.
I was born in Iwakuni Japan, 1996.
I grew up moving around a lot. Japan, Hawaii, and visited over half the states. I still need to visit South America, Europe, Africa, and Australia!
My main thing is making music, but I admittedly haven’t been creating as much as I used to due to work and projects like making this website. I started because I was inspired to start a journey of creation.
Some noticeable influences include artist like Mac Miller, Frank Ocean, Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Logic, J. Cole, and so many more ( I feel so bad for not including the others, forgive me).
I have something like 22,000 songs on my iTunes library alone. That’s not mentioning the several hundreds of songs I’ve written and recorded.
Creating things feels almost divine, I figure I’d try my best to use my opportunities to work at something that I feel is worth living for. Working for the people in my immediate life or for the greater humanity sounds like something I can get around.
Creation holds answers to my soul, an answer to life. Satisfaction in the chaos of the world. Imagination: something alive I can share with others.
It felt like it was more than just a decision to start. Beautiful moments of revelations and synchronicities. I’d love to relive it again.
Sometimes I look back and doubt myself. But I turn around those thoughts and look at what’s ahead to a future that’s ideal to me. I’m getting the good ending, the best ending if I can help it by being present and focusing on today.
I just want to do everything myself. Suck at letting people in. I can’t wrap my head around mixing and mastering and I’m not the best at producing beats. I get in my own way and strive for perfection. That’s why this website took so long to make….
I haven’t made music in awhile…, I moved on to creating vlogs, and experimenting with shooting and editing videos to learn how I could potentially make music videos. Learned the ins and outs of after effects, the process of creating content.
I’m always doing something new. its incredible yet disorienting. I’m impressed with my resilience despite me taking forever to accomplish full projects or ideas. I don’t understand how people do it.
Started the website, but only after a year later did I finally get it to be what you see today.
Life just takes so much away from me, away from us. I could barely focus on the things I truly wanted to do with work involved. I’ve started a thousand things, and now I work every day to juggle them all in the air.
I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.
I am more comfortable these days even if my anxiety is through the roof about being so open about my perspective. All that I’ve accomplished: I forget to acknowledge. I’d be surprised if anyone reads this.
Capitalism has bled into the hearts and minds of everyone across the globe. I wonder if there’s a solution to the problem… If I ever did have a goal, it would be to find people of similar minds that seek actual, deep, meaningful change, that takes place on earth in our lifetime. At least set up the torch to pass on.
But that’s a ways away. Right now I’m working on my recovery. I have what they call scoliosis. 7 years ago I started to take my health seriously and instead of giving up and thinking of it as a permanent disease, I started to deeply learn the way my body works and discovered that I had a bunch of stagnant energy and built bad habits throughout my body. I didn’t realize the changes until much later, ignorance and lack of instruction made me weak. Everything was so stiff and I was in decent pain.
While I went to university I experienced a little heart burn and I’d get Charlie horses, which I’ve never gotten before or today. Even after changing my diet while at school, it just wasn’t enough. Eventually I knew I had to make a real change if I wanted to live a long healthy life.
I educated myself on nutrition and relearned all that I understood about the world and the system, and how society works.
Overtime my body would unravel and past injuries that never quite let themselves go slowly started to fade away. But the war isn’t over. I’ve made incredible progress, but it came at a cost of about 7 years of life so far. I don’t regret it at all but there are things I would’ve done differently. Either way, right now my back is more relaxed, its not as numb and I can actively feel the twists which means I can actively work to correct my body alignment and free up tight spaces. Its working, but I’m impatient because its SUPER slow (in my eyes). However, I’m SUPER grateful for the second chance at life.
I thought in the beginning that I should just do yoga and minimal hard exercise to help release tension but recently I’ve started adding workouts on top of swimming and its making a big difference in how I carry myself.
I’m so aware of all the ways my body slumps on its self. The angles and the twisted tension. The experience is maddening, especially knowing the potential. I feel sore in little areas across my body, that are actively changing in response to everything falling into place. Everyday I inch closer to my goals. I’m in love.
I swear, if my theories are correct I might be able to see again! I can feel the muscles within pulling on my eyes, I can feel the strain that shouldn’t exist. If my innards can be coaxed into relaxing and finding peace, I might be 20/20 baby. Then again I could be delusional…or I’mma genius! Either way, I have to try, its all I can focus on. If the cure was staring you right in the face, wouldn’t you bite? I might have to tell you guys my secrets.
The only problem is that my dedication to recovering just takes so much time out of my day. Stretching, massaging, exercising and relaxing. I have no time to participate in capitalism! I barely have time to spend with friends…
Even right now I can feel the knots bending me forward.
TL;DR: I try to do everything myself, make excuses and sabotage myself from accomplishing my goals. All my joints rotate inward along with my spine, due to unresolved injuries of the past, and its time consuming and debilitating. Everything is really twisted and tight, including my jaw and eyes.
And back on the topic of issues: that’s not even the end of it.
I do like playing a role in my immediate community, and that’s why I’m working to offer swim lessons on my own. I’ve gotten really good at teaching since I’ve been working at the pool and I know this area has a major lack of swim instruction. So maybe I can bring value to my community while the community helps sustain me.
I deserve to live well, and so do you.
Anyway, that’s around where I’m at in life. Couple more things that are going on include: working on growing plants from seeds, recovering an injured cat, experimenting with my first import vacuum cleaner, repairing an old sewing machine, and like a thousand other things I’m not mentioning purely because the list gets out of hand.
The only real thing my soul seems to value is the creation of another album though. What should it be about?
I’ll be experimenting with different blog post and encourage you to witness the madness that is the mind of yours truly.
in the meantime check out my music and my videos and tell me what you think. I appreciate it.
Check back soon!
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